Lesson Four-First Ever Date

Sorry, this one’s short. I’ve had a busy week, not a lot of writing time.


Shane tapped nervously at the table below. His heart was pounding, his mouth was dry, and he was sweating. He wasn’t sure who he was looking for, but he was waiting for her. A friend of a friend.

“Hi, uh… are you, Shane?” a girl walked quickly up and asked. She was wearing a long checkered shirt, black leggings and brown boots. Her dark hair was pulled up into a messy bun on the top of her head.

“Uh… ya. You, Amanda?”

She smiled enthusiastically and nodded.

“Great, have a seat.”

Amanda wasn’t at all shocked by Shane’s appearance. Casual t-shirt and jeans. It was just BBQ after all. His hair was slicked back nicely though, and he had a cute nose.

“So uh… you ever been here before?” he asked.

“Oh ya! Lot’s of times. My favorite.” She pushed the unneeded menu aside. She knew exactly what to order.

“Well, I haven’t. Any suggestions?” he glanced briefly up at her, then back down nervously at his own menu.

“I like their simple BBQ sandwich. Never fails. They’ve got a great spicy wing appetizer too. You like spicy stuff?”

Shane couldn’t believe how animated this girl was. He got the feeling she was a talker. But most women were. Weren’t they?

“Ya. I like spicy stuff.” He shrugged nervously without looking back up.

Amanda nodded. “Ya. I’ll get us some of those. So how old are you?”

“Twenty three. You’re like, nineteen, right?”

“Well, twenty, as of Thursday.” She tilted her head in thought. “Which I guess was yesterday. Wasn’t it?”

She was a complete nut, Shane thought. “Ya. Today’s Friday. That would make yesterday, Thursday.”

“Ya. Guess it would.”

The waitress got their order and soon brought over a tray of hot wings.

Amanda immediately grabbed one and began munching away. She soon had hot sauce smeared all over her face. She didn’t bother to use a napkin until she’d finished the wing. What was the point?

Shane tried not to look oddly at her but… she looked like an animal. There was no way this was gonna work. No way.

By the time Amanda had devoured five of the wings, and Shane two, the waitress came back with their orders.

He’d gone with the simple BBQ sandwich. It was good. Amanda must have thought so too, that or she had some really nasty eating habits.

BBQ sauce, all over her face. Fingers smothered in grease. Cheeks blown up with way too much food. Napkin clean and untouched. Amanda’s sandwich was gone in a small amount of minutes.

“So,” Shane swallowed hard to keep from gagging. Before him sat a monster. “I hear you like music.”

“Oh ya!” she said, mouth full. “Love it.”

The meal was mostly silent, as Amanda enjoyed her food.

(c) 2014 Carrots

About carrots

I'm a big time reader who loves to write! I'm young but I'm learning. Any advice and criticism is more than welcome. I need all the help I can get... :)
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4 Responses to Lesson Four-First Ever Date

  1. DoerDi says:

    Nice flow I enjoyed it.

    Sometimes reading a laundry list of a person’s description can feel out of place. But not in your story. The description helps set the scene.

  2. Hana says:

    You’ve put a lot of personality in your characters. There is also a nice flow between the dialog and summary. It was easy to read and to follow. I also liked the way you leave things to the imagination and don’t spell out every small thing. I enjoyed this.

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