Lesson 6 – Character Voices

Lesson 6 – Character Voices
It is dusk when Nathan pulls into the driveway. He lives with his mom. She always makes sure the porch light is lit when he gets home. He’d probably continue living here but she married this jerk Joe, a year ago. He and Joe don’t see eye to eye, yet Joe treats his mom like a queen.

The moment he opens the back door the delicious aroma of food cooking jogs his stomach and he realizes how hungry he really is.

Millie, his mom is right there to greet him and gives him a kiss and a hug. “My goodness, I’m so happy that you got home on time, Nate darling, because I’m cooking chicken and dumplings, your favorite.”

“Yeah, she’s been a-fussin’ and a-fussin’ in the kitchen this whole afternoon,” said Joe, shaking his head back and forth, making Nate feel guilty
.
“Mom, you shouldn’t work so hard for me. I appreciate it but I’m sure that you and Joe have other things to do. Don’t feel you have to take care of me like you always have. I can fix my own food.”

“Oh no my dear boy. As long as you’re living here I want to be doing all the things I’ve always done for you.”

“Come on Millie girl, he’s a big boy now. You’ve spoiled him enough,” said Joe.

Millie ignored that remark.

“Come on everyone, let’s eat,” Millie said while she clinks a spoon on the rim of her glass to announce dinner is ready.

They all take their places at the table and after Joe says the blessing, Nathan clears his throat for attention.

“I’ve accepted a job to drive a big semi across this country. You know how I’ve always wanted to travel to see our country. I’ll be driving from north to south and from east to west and I’m very excited about that. I’ll be taking it all in and getting paid for it at the same time.”

“Oh no, I can’t bear to think of you driving a big truck all over this big ol’ country. It will be so dangerous and I will worry every day that you are in that big ol’ truck.”

“You needn’t worry Mom. I’ll be fine. The company trains me well before I take it out on the road. You know I’ve wanted to do this forever. The experience will help me with my writing because I will see awesome things and places.”

Joe gets up from the table, goes over to Millie and puts his arms around her. “Millie, Millie baby your son is a fine, strong, young man now. You need to let him go, wish him well and know that he is doing what he needs to do.”

“Yes Mom, Joe is right and I’ll be coming back here every month,” said Nate. Maybe Joe isn’t such a bad guy after all
.
You know it’s not as if he’s leaving you forever. Besides that, we’ll be traveling ourselves. So come on, let’s have a drink of our wine and toast to happy traveling.”

About ginnyprice

I live in Denver, CO in a senior community and enjoy these autumn years. I have 6 wonderful children who encourage me in my writing. A few years ago I took a correspondence writing course and really enjoyed it. I had one of my non-fiction articles published in Mature Years Magazine. I would like to be able to write fiction well and I think this course will help me.
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7 Responses to Lesson 6 – Character Voices

  1. Gary says:

    I think you’ve separated the character voices really well Ginny. That’s one thing I have trouble with 🙁

    Reads really well but if I were to offer one suggestion it would be the very first paragraph. Lots of pronouns. I am well guilty of this and find myself going back to tighten sentences up to reduce them. I think doing that makes reading it flow better 🙂

    Still the lesson was character voice so ignore that 😉

    You have got the point of the lesson nailed though !!!

    • ginnyprice says:

      Thanks Gary, I went back and read my first paragraph and I agree – there are too many pronouns. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

      Ginny

      • Gary says:

        My pleasure 🙂

        Like I said I do it loads myself. One other thing I really try to do (mostly badly lol) is not to use the same word twice in any one paragraph…well, excluding “and” or “the” otherwise it sounds well wrong.

        Keep posting more stuff 🙂

  2. freckles says:

    Hey Ginny, I liked the story line about Nathan and his strained relationship with the step-dad, and how his mother still likes to baby him. I agree with Gary about the first paragraph. I know when I did lesson 6, I wasn’t happy about it and wasn’t sure I hit the homework requirements. I ended up redoing it in first person and I think it worked much better for what was asked of us.

    With that in mind, if you don’t mind, I took the liberty to take a shot at your first paragraph. But, by all means you can ignore it if you chose to 🙂 I wrote it from Nathan’s prospective, Just as an idea for you, that’s all.

    Twilight descends, it’s soft glowing light lavender-orange light across the sky. As the rays fade to a dark velvet black, I can see the gentle flicker coming from my mothers porch light as I pull up in her driveway.

    I’d still be living here, in my cosy room, if my mother had not married that jerk, Jack, a year ago. He does treat my mother a queen, but there is something about him,that irks me. I open the back door and the delicious aroma of food wafts at me, jogging my stomach and I realize, how hungry I really am.

    “My goodness, I’m so happy that you got home,” My mom gives me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Nate darling, I hope you’re hungry. I’m cooking chicken and dumplings, your favorite.”

    ANYWAYS, i hope this gives you an idea, writing in first person gives it a personal feel. I learned that by re-writing mine. Again, just an idea. I still liked this post 🙂 Great job.

    • ginnyprice says:

      Thanks Freckles. You have good descriptions and I liked my first paragraph the way you wrote it. Thanks for your help.

      Ginny

  3. Hana says:

    Hi Ginny. I found myself feeling how low and unsure Nate was when the story started and then felt his optimism and excitement at the end. The sign of good writing. I agree with the others that the dialog did a good job of describing three different characters. Very good.

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